


The Rain

by Missy



Category: Laverne & Shirley (1976)
Genre: Celebrities, F/M, Humor, Meeting Celebrities, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-24
Updated: 2011-07-24
Packaged: 2017-10-21 17:39:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/227836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missy/pseuds/Missy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Laverne and Lenny prepare themselves for dates with destiny.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Rain

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Shotzette's birthday; thanks to Amber for beta!

Tonight, Laverne decided, as she rushed through the door in her work uniform, she would unwind. She wouldn't do anything but sleep. Sleep, eat, and plan to get into William Shatner's dressing room when he showed up to do a publicity appearance at the Ajax plant this morning.

She started by spooning some Skippy onto her slice of white bread and slicing banana on top, pouting when she noticed the bottom of an entire piece had turned black. "Dumb banana. Why do they always rot from the head down?"

The door slammed open. "Hey Laverne!" Her shoulders relaxed; Lenny without Squiggy was always easier to deal with than when they descended on the apartment together. She eyed his outfit - he was wearing his best suit, an electric-blue tie and his old porkpie hat. "Going to the Met?" she teased, rolling up her sandwich and taking a big bite.

Lenny watched her lips work for a minute, blank-eyed, before snapping out of it. He stood up proudly, squaring his shoulders. "Guess who I heard from today?"

She smirked. "Grace Kelly?"

Lenny's expression was questioning but curious. "I don't think they get mail in Monaco. What would they put the sacks on, their little palaponies?"

"...Palopanies..." Laverne took another bite, pretended to consider his words, and swallowed with a shrug. "Look, wouldya just TELL me Len."

He snapped to attention with a grin. "Nah, I heard from Karen!" he held out a piece of paper and grinned. "She's coming in for a conference on the train and she wanted me to come pick her up - I dunno how you con a France when you're a paleontologist, but she sounds like she really wanted to see me." He grinned. "She and me made a deal years ago, that if she ever wanted to see me again she'd ask for me."

"Oh yeah," Laverne sighed. "Geez, Len, I dunno - it's been a coupla years. Do you think she's really interested in starting over again with you?"

He pouted. "What's that supposed to mean."

She frowned. "Aww gee, Len - it's nothing on you. Karen's just a little..." she gestured. "Eh, you know?"

"No, I don't!" Lenny pouted.

She sighed. "She has a way of coming back in and getting you all excited and then ditching you. And it's not even how she acts around you...you just get real excited real easy."

Lenny glared back at her, withdrawing slightly from her touch. "Are you callin' her a tease?"

"No, Len!" She pushed him gently. "Why doncha get what I'm trying to say?"

"Cause you're bein' about as clear as a tuba mud!" he replied. "Oh, I know what's wrong," he said triumphantly. "You're jealous!" he accused.

 

"Len," she sighed, poking him in the thigh. "I am not jealous of you! While you're havin' lunch with Karen, I'm going to be having dinner with William Shatner!"

Lenny's jaw dropped open. "WOW." He tilted his head. "Is he gonna bring the Enterprise with him?"

She chuckled. "No, Len. William Shatner is an actor.”

"I knew that," Lenny insisted, getting up. "If you need me, gimmie a call. I'll be at the phone booth on third street."

"Len, how'm I gonna be able to get through to that booth?"

Lenny gave her a wise look. "Just ask for me, Laverne. They **know** me there."

***

Frank DeFazio frowned as he ducked around the corner, an armful of dishes in his hand and a bill waving in his other meaty fist. "I'm taking this to the top of the heap." He dumped a pile of linguini in front of Laverne. "They think they can overcharge me for zoning just because I'm on the city council. HA!" Frank spat on the floor contemptuously.

"That's nice, Pop." She scratched out a word of her speech. "How's this sound? 'Mister Shatner, welcome to our humble plant - it's the wave of the future, just like your show!"

Frank stared at Laverne. "It sounds like someone else talkin'."

"Aww geez." Laverne scratched out a few more words. "I want this to be perfect, Pop." She smiled. "There's a rumor going around that if Mister Shatner likes us enough he might donate a lot of money to the firm. And he might even hire one of us as his assistant."

"Why would he pick one of you? You've got jobs!"

Laverne shrugged. "I heard he changes 'em a lot."

"That's a **bad sign!** " Frank bellowed, slapping the table with his towel. "You've gotta good job, stick with it!"

Laverne glared up at him. "If I don't keep shootin' for the stars, I'm gonna keep landin' in the garbage." She pouted. "Can't ya wish me well?"

Frank shook his head at her. "Be careful," he ordered, and then he handed her twenty dollars. "Buy yourself a new outfit."

"Thanks Pop," she smiled and pocketed the money.

 

***

Lenny sat by the platform with an eager grin, a bunch of roses gathered in his palm. It was a nippy California morning, and he huddled into his loud yellow dinner jacket, scanning each face eagerly as they stepped off the train platform. He would know Karen at a distance – would recognize the sway of her hips and her smile. He managed to spot her and flung himself to his feet.

"Karen!" he yelled. "Hey! Over here!"

She pushed her way through the crowd, grinning. "Lenny!" she smiled. He noticed her heavy coat, and held out a hand. "D'you need me to do the heavy lifting?" he gasped when she leaned on him. "I didn't mean that heavy!"

She leaned away. "Oh, I'm sorry Lenny!" she smiled. "I'm not quite used to being as big as I am."

He eyed her stomach nervously. "I didn't notice! That just means there's more of you to love," he declared.

She kissed his cheek. "You're still the sweetest guy I know." They entered the depot together, and took a right to the dinette situated at the back of the station. Lenny ordered them two coffees, remembering exactly how she took hers without prompting. Karen just grinned and shimmied out of her coat.

"Would you mind hanging this up?"

"Sure, I juuust..." His eyes widened as he caught sight of her - and noticed her burgeoning stomach and the maternity dress cloaking it.

***

Sitting up as straight as she possibly could, Laverne practiced her most inviting grin to the closed door of the testing room. "How do you do, Mister Shatner?" she bowed.

Chuck abruptly poked her side and she shrieked. "Who're you talking to, Laverne?" he leaned in and whispered, "Do you see the flying elves too?"

She shook her head. "I'm practicing for when Mister Shatner gets here," she explained. "I want to be on my best behavior when he shows up."

"Ohh," Chuck said, then his eyes widened. "Captain Kirk's coming here?"

"Yep," Laverne said, primping her hair.

"When?" He started sweating visibly.

"Any time..." The door swung open, and Mr. Ajax appeared in the doorway with a circle of photographers and the good captain himself, swaggering magnificently into place.

"And this is our testing facility," Mr. Ajax declared. "Here are our two main testing subjects, Laverne DeFazio and Chuck..."

"...Chuck Mastrioni," Chuck offered, jabbing a hand out toward William Shatner. The man shook it as if it were a particularly chilly piece of cod. "It's an honor, sir."

"Oh, I'm sure it is," He replied loftily. Then he turned toward Laverne and held out his hand with an expectant smile.

"Agadaba?" Laverne blurted out, holding onto William Shatner's hand like a life raft.

He smiled indulgently and said to Mr. Ajax, "How nice of you to hire the incompetent."

Laverne's gaze darkened. "Hey, I happen to have plenty of smarts." She straightened her vest. "I was bottlecapper of the year five years running at my old place."

"How exciting."

"Not as exciting as episode five of this season's Star Trek, sir! I've always wanted an episode where...."

Chuck swept Mister Shatner away, leaving Laverne to gape at them both.

***

"So then Tom asked me to dance, and we've been together ever since." She patted her rounded stomach. "It's been a fairytale. How's your life been, Lenny?"

He sucked a mouthful of milkshake up his straw in one a gulp. "Uh," he admitted. "Nothin' much. Hey Karen, can I borrow a dime?"

She dug into her pocket. "Sure! When you come back, I was wondering if you could help me with something - I need to pick out some new curtains and I thought you might be able to help me decide..."

Lenny smiled politely as he backed toward the phone booth, and then flung himself inside and dialed the number of Laverne's work station.

***

Laverne glared at her ringing phone - yanking it firmly off the hook, she turned toward Mister Shatner and hung off of his arm. "Oh, Bill, you're so witty."

"Yes, yes," he said, waving her off and leaning into Chuck. "So what do you think of the Klingons?"

"I think there should be a few more women. You can't go wrong with women!"

"That's what I keep telling the producers! But they never listen to me!"

Laverne frowned at the disconnected line, then whirled around. "Mister Shatner," she said. "I've got the sort of drive that could take me places. If you hired me…”

"I'm sure you do," he said coldly. "Please, do me a favor - let me see your legs."

"...What?" Laverne squeaked out.

"Your legs!" Laverne hiked up the hem of her skirt to show him. "Ahah, just as I suspected! Why, with that height I could get you a job at the finest go go bar in San Diego."

"Really?" She smiled and then realized her was insulting her.

She absolutely didn't regret hefting up her cup of coffee and dumping it over Shatner's head.

Being laid off? Now that she regretted.

***

After walking Karen back to her hotel and quietly promising to himself that he'd lose her new address, Lenny walked in the ice-cold rain alone. Minutes passed as he walked toward Laurel Vista, hating LA for the first time since he'd moved there. At the intersection of Hollywood and Vine, he saw a woman in white go-go boots and a mini-skirt weaving her way up toward him. He knew who it was before she spoke.

"Hi," Laverne said awkwardly, rubbing a hand through her wet hair.

Lenny gave her a thin smile back, shivering against the wind. "Are you okay?"

She nodded. "I kinda got fired. How was Karen?"

Lenny grabbed her hand. "Laverne, it was AWFUL," he replied. "She's all married and boring and thinks I know about curtains!"

"Awww geesh." She squeezed Lenny's shoulder. "I'm real sorry, Len."

"Yeah, it's okay," he replied. "I guess I shouldn'ta put the car before the horse," he admitted sheepishly.

"Yeah," Laverne agrred. "I shouldn'ta thought William Shatner was gonna get me a big fancy job and move me out to Hollywood....and get me a mansion with shirtless servants.'

"LAVERNE," Lenny plead.

"Sorry," she whined. Then she gently ran her hand up his neck and to his cheek. "What do I got to do to get a swell guy like you in my life?"

He snorted. "Hang around the bus station and he'll come out of the bathroom in a coupla minutes."

She shook her head. "Nah Len - there's something special about you. I mean, you're really sweet and you write nice songs and you listen when I talk."

"Nah," he laughed, shuffling his shoulders. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. And you stopped spitting when you talked a real long time ago." She reached up and pecked his cheek. "I'm sorry I didn't answer when you called. I was all caught up in this phony Hollywood stuff."

He nodded. "I know how that feels."

"Really? I thought you loved it."

He shrugged. "Squig likes it better than I do." He looked nobly into the middle distance. "I," he said with great dramatic flair, "am a contract man."

She patted his chest. "That's great, Len."

"I make a good living that way. I could do paperwork in a snap, even Karen..." He shook his head and squeezed her hand. "Why don't we let bygones be water under the spilt milk?"

Laverne realized she was still holding onto his hand. Suddenly, Lenny said, "Y'know, you're a really nice girl. A guy could fall hard for you and never stop liking you even when you're mad at him and think he's weird and kinda creepy for looking through your underwear draw..."

"Take a deep breath, Len," she instructed gently.

He inhaled dramatically. "So...you know how I feel."

"Yeah." She said against his cheek.

"Doncha wanna scream and tell me to get out?"

She gave him an odd look. "We're standing at a crosswalk, Len."

"Yeah. Or you could tell me to go walk into traffic."

"I wouldn't do that to you," she insisted. Then she pressed a little kiss to his cheek.

"Laverne?"

"Hmm?"

He sounded as innocent as a newborn lamb. "Why're you looking at me like that?"

She smiled and closed her eyes. "Because I'm seeing something for the first time. And I always said I'd keep both my eyes open when that day got here, and besides I'm still not sure today's been a long terrible dream..."

"Laverne?" Lenny mumbled, dipping his head.

"Huh?" she asked, parting her lips.

"You're talkin' too much."

And then they stood in the middle of Hollywood and Vine, kissing in the ice-cold rain without feeling a single drop fall on their skin.

THE END


End file.
